Some things just strike me as absurd. Take for instance "The Road To Somewhere". A couple of years ago local developers got involved with the city government to clean up a uhh, uhh, well to put it lightly, a fricking cesspool. It's a chemical nightmare.

It's a really great project and I'm proud to be part of it. When we're done we will be restoring the wetland habitat that was indiginous to the area prior to the invasion of the chemical dumpers. Our company is tasked with the civil engineering portion of the project.

Magically somehow the poo from chemical plant 1 did not cross the property lines. When the poo was dumped on the ground it stayed out of chemical plant 2, the goo factory. There was no previous poo goo intermingling. OK. Uh-huh.

So now we have Soils Management Zone 4 being the poo factory and Soils Management Zone 5 is the goo factory. You guessed it, the road to somewhere is in both Soils Management Zones.

The environmental remediation process for this is an operation in itself. That's what I'm doing right now. Figuring out how the big yellow things will build the road to somewhere while staying in their appropriate, you guessed it, Soil Management Zone.

That's not a real difficult task for me. Peanut butter and jelly only touch if they are between two slices of bread. Mashed potatoes and gravy don't touch corn either. They're ememies.

It's simple. The #4 and the #5 big yellow things are enemies. They don't touch. They don't eat lunch together. Their people don't even get to use the same driveway.

Why did we need the road to somewhere you might ask? I'm sure you've wondered by now where the road to somewhere may lead.

The first part of the project was building a $10,000,000 bridge across the wetlands. The road to somewhere is between the bridge to nowhere and the frontage road along the interstate. Now we didn't build a bridge to nowhere. We built a bridge to somewhere. See how that works?

As I said before local developers teamed up with the government to fund this thing. Local taxpayers were upset that their money had been spent on "The Bridge To Nowhere". To fix that they are going to spend more tax payer money on the road to somewhere. The taxpayers are now happy.

I think that's absurd given our time. People are starving and losing their homes from the recession. Perhaps it is me that is absurd.